Ok, so you all know about my editing challenges by now, and I’d like to put them in the past too, but as I was self-editing my sequel to Stay yesterday, I had a thought. If I know I’m going to change most of the I am’s to I’m in the final draft, why don’t I just write them that way to begin with? It certainly would save me time. I know this and I still don’t change it. I write I am every time. It’s simply what I do as a writer. It’s who I am.
Who are you, I really want to know
I’m going to get a little philosophical here (and maybe a little controversial) but I think we pretty much are who we are when we are born, or at least who we are when we’re very young. Yes, I really do. And yes, my whole inner dialogue about contractions really did make me think of this. Random, I know but that’s how these blog ideas keep popping up. Anyway, the basis of that opinion comes from both being a parent, and being introspective and honest about who I am.
I have five kids and if they were willing to be talked about in my blogs, I could tell you many, very specific ways in which they are exactly the same today as they were when they were four or five. There are things my husband and I predicted about how they would be as teenagers and young adults and we were, for the most part, right. That’s not to say that they haven’t matured and changed at all, but for all intents and purposes, the essence of who they are as people remains the same today as it was back then.
It’s true for all of us
If I’m looking in the mirror at myself, the same holds true. There are things about me that have always been part of who I am. Need an example? Here it comes, and I’m sure my family will vouch for this. I am, always have been and will always be super sensitive. I get my feelings hurt easily. My brothers and sisters used to call me “Little Miss Sensitive” starting at like age six. And yes, I’m guilty of being able to dish it out but not being able to take it. They’d corroborate that fact as well I’m sure.
I used to cry and retaliate when the teasing got too much. Being one of the youngest in a large family wasn’t always easy and I did what I had to do. I don’t cry and retaliate anymore. Well, I don’t cry but I might still retaliate a little. But, now that I’m older and so much wiser (insert sarcasm), I usually can walk away and process why I’m upset. I have learned to deal with getting my feelings hurt in a more productive way as I’ve matured, but the fact is, I still do get my feelings hurt rather easily and rather often. I’d love to change that about me and have really tried. I can’t. It’s who I am.
Don’t go changing
There are definitely some things I would like to change about myself because it might make my life a little easier. Sometimes I wish I weren’t so sensitive, or analytical or stubborn. I often get in my own way because of those three things. But then again, having those personality traits also means I’m compassionate, thoughtful and not easily pushed around. I guess each individual situation illustrates whether those characteristics are a blessing or a curse. The bottom line is, we really are just who we are. Good and bad. I think once we accept ourselves for who we are, good and bad, we really can truly be happy. I’m taking that approach and it seems to be working. Now when someone calls me sensitive with a negative connotation, I agree instead of denying it or feeling bad about something I’ve been my whole life.
Feel free to agree or disagree with my whole opinion on whether people can really change or not. It’ll probably upset me if you disagree, but what can I say, I’m sensitive.
And by the way, yes, I had to go back and change every I am to I’m.
Image Credit: John Ragai
Lynn says
I hope since you are editing this means you are almost done with book two!
Hilary Wynne says
Editing as I go Lynn… I’m working hard!!